undeniably yours
by gaara-nara
Summary: prompt from sasusakufestival on tumblr: civilian shinobi love. one of konoha's strongest and most confident shinobi easily becomes weak and unsure of himself around a certain pink-haired civilian. (mostly sasusaku, hint of naruhina.) THREE PART STORY
1. part one

as they made their way through the streets of yet another village, naruto stopped suddenly and leaned down to pick up a rather unusually violet pebble.

sasuke paid no mind and continued his conversation with kakashi until their voices were drowned out by the blonde-haired boy excitedly chattering to himself about how much hinata would love this rock.

"hey, do you mind?" sasuke practically growled out with a very tired yawn. "we were trying to go over the aspects that went well in this mission and what areas could use some improvement but i can't hear over your gibbering."

"what is it naruto?" kakashi lazily side-eyed.

immediately upon being asked, the next few minutes were filled with naruto's voice, ranging from high to low, as it quivered in nervousness and excitement. he was preparing to give hinata this token of his love to her, even managing some remark about how it perfectly captured the color of her eyes and held up the little rock as if the whole land were interested to see.

the other two audibly sighed when naruto started on yet another rant, at this point tripping over his own tongue to keep up with those increasing thoughts of his.

sasuke could hear a steady buzz in his own ears over the ridiculous amount of noise coming from the bundle of sunshine (who was practically jumping around now) next to him.

the uchiha passed a knowing smirk at kakashi and they nodded, forming a plan without words.

"oh ok, yeah. you can tell us about it once we are back home. speaking of, do you want to stop at the bake—" at the very mention of naruto's favorite spot in konoha for sweets, he darted ahead of the other two, focusing now on their cookies no doubt.

when kakashi and sasuke finally caught up, they leaned up against the bakery door to stop and catch their breaths.

they had somehow managed to book through a full forest, the entrance of their own village and down the main road a bit before stopping.

"are their cookies really that good?" kakashi muttered through breaths from behind the ever-present mask.

"not sure, I normally don't eat sweets." but the ex-sensei watched as sasuke stretched his arms over his head, breathed in slowly, opened the door up and headed in to the counter anyways.

from the outside, he could see the two lingering at the counter talking to a girl he recognized, there weren't very many people running around konoha with cotton-candy pink hair, but didn't really know.

he thought about leaving, per usual, seeing as the mission they went on kept him from visiting the centograph for almost a week but decided against it this time and waited on them.

"so, do you come for her then?" kakashi didn't even miss a beat as the grin crept across his lips, causing the little bit of his face showing to move and visibly crinkle next to his eye.

naruto seemed to find this statement quite amusing and fell back into his rambles about needing to go find hinata. as the blonde made his way in front of them he turned, smiled from ear-to-ear and waved with his usual charm, heading in the general direction of the hyuugas. if sasuke wouldn't have known better, the boy's exit seemed a tiny suspicious.

the remaining two walked a bit further down the street before they would part ways, when kakashi distinctly recognized the noise of a little paper sack hitting the side of sasuke's leg. he eyed the pink bag that clearly had something in it and thought for a moment before turning to go his own way.

realizing this might be his only opportunity to confront sasuke, he sighed and turned back to face the uchiha, "i didn't mean that question for naruto, he has already mentioned her to me before yet you haven't…"

his accusation hung in the air for a moment as they held eye contact and kakashi pointed to the bag only to receive an eye-roll from sasuke, then they both threw their arms up in a salute bye and kept going.

the whole walk back to the uchiha compound was as quiet as arriving and staying there alone was.

sasuke remembered the times as a child, before anything had fallen apart and the grief and revenge had clouded his judgment.

he sat down on the edge of his bed when he reached his room and remembered his brother, although this one memory proved to be far more painful than anything he had once found worth focusing on.

feeling a growing sickness in his stomach, he rubbed there idly and caught on the back of his hand a light layer of grime. this was of course nothing unusual considering their mission had been to the land of wind and it was a particularly grueling summer there. he smirked at the sensations of a current breeze blowing in through his open window and sat the little pink bag aside. he grabbed a clean t-shirt and boxers, heading to the shower.

even when he had finished washing himself and cleaning his hair, he leaned against the wall as the steaming hot water poured over him.

images of a bloody tap to the forehead and a "goodbye" left him exhaling a breath he didn't realize he had held since his mind wandered to itachi.

since that day he had heard the word "love" in a different way. it had never really appealed to him in the same way it did others but now it had attached every bit of distrust, pain, and hurt with it. because of this, he had been so hesitant about giving naruto the go-ahead when he had earlier that week admitted to sasuke, kakashi, and _clearly_ himself too, to the feelings he had so quietly burned over for hinata.

sasuke knew the risks of the shinobi lifestyle well but his few experiences with the risks of caring for someone else openly, especially loving them, were something he knew he did not want.

 _it all always ended_ , his thoughts running to a girl behind a counter and his eyes skimming the room and falling back onto the pink bag. _and for him, it ended badly._

he had wondered a while when naruto spoke on his deeper feelings for the byakugan-holding girl but knew naruto had a joyful radiance that could put the sun to shame. his blonde friend could come out of some of the worst situations in his childhood and choose to put others first still and take a chance with being so available to everyone he met, never not making friends in foreign lands or the very streets of his own village.

sasuke knew naruto was this way and understood that if things didn't work out in the long run with hinata, that the two would probably still remain friends and naruto's feelings wouldn't falter or change even then because that was just… who he was. his very nature was both loving and understanding.

as sasuke made his way to his bed, feeling lighter now that he was clean and had comfortable clothes on, he grabbed for the cookies and realized this naruto-stuff didn't really matter in his case. the uchiha would never be like that and would never allow someone else in.

unlike gaara, the kazekage from the land they had just had their mission in, he knew love wasn't something he wore on his forehead and unlike many of his friends, wasn't something he had in his heart. not anymore.

he fell asleep laughing softly at the mere notion that he still even had much of a heart.

. . . . . .

she woke up to the sound of footsteps and voices outside of the room. cracking open her eyes reluctantly and letting out a yawn, sakura shuffled her way out of the bed and walked into the hallway toward the bathroom.

she had maybe three hours of sleep at most because ino had invited her over for a sleepover and this meant staying up all night with boy-talk, snacks, and movies.

so as when she looked into the mirror she expected to look more tired than she did but it wasn't too noticeable and she rinsed her face and brushed her teeth before making her way into the living room.

"so, why are you up so early again?" sakura groaned out as she rubbed her eyes.

she quickly opened them up when she overheard ino snicker and the clearing of a familiar boy's throat. apparently ino's other team members and naruto had arrived recently and must have made all the noise that woke her. she noticed the group also included the reclusive uchiha boy of whom she fleetingly glanced at and away from.

"um, sakura…" ino was looking like she might burst into a laughing fit, staring down at sakura's waist. it was only then that the girl noticed an odd breeze across her front and looked down to see she was standing there in her underwear.

her eyes wandered back up and over to sasuke's face but his expression proved to be unreadable as he turned to look out the window instead and she immediately ran back to the bedroom, mortified.

"you really mean to tell me you couldn't have maybe said something about them being here when i was in the bathroom!?" sakura turned to her friend as she entered into the bedroom too, still carrying that smug look on her face.

"i didn't exactly know you would run around in your underwear in the daylight, plus i had no idea that i would get called out for a mission this morning either."

at the mention of a mission, sakura grimaced.

"oh…" she looked down at the floor for some pants, continuing while pulling them on. "are they all going with you?"

"yeah. tsunade had nothing better for naruto or sasuke to do since they were rather eager for missions even if they just arrived back home yesterday afternoon." they shared a knowing grin and the blonde chattered away while putting things together in her backpack. "ah, you know how they can get. especially uzumaki and his ridiculous stamina and even worse persistence." ino flung her hand into the air in a very dramatic way and further went on to impersonate the boy. "BUT GRANDMA TSUNADE!"

they both shrieked with laughter, falling back onto the bed, at the sound of a very annoyed naruto in the other room and looked at one another, still giggling but a seriousness touching both their eyes.

sakura thought against it at first but then shoved her thoughts away and pulled her friend into a hug. "be safe, pig."

"yeah well don't show your underwear to everyone while i'm gone, forehead."

"aw, come on ino. this is seriously such a drag." they heard shikamaru complain and open the front door. sakura followed ino back into the room to join the others, watching as her friend swatted at her dark-haired teammate affectionately.

"sakura-chan, i'll be back and expect more of those new cookies too! sasuke actually liked them!" naruto beamed over at his partner and the boy shot him a glare.

"tch. i merely said they were alright." but as the attention was drawn away from the moment and the others were making their way into the yard, sakura noticed sasuke turn back to glance at her once more before they were all off the porch and heading to the front gates of the village.

she watched them as they left and thought to herself how "alright" was the farthest sasuke had come to actually being nice to her, since that one night forever ago whenever they were younger.

she felt a tiny bit of warmth in her chest at this, thinking back to the night that sasuke chose to leave the village and how she had known his intentions far before any of his fellow ninja had, how he had stopped to explain things to her when he never had to, how he had tried to thank her while his voice cracked and exposed a new side to him, and finally how he had glanced back at her in the same way then as now.

but sakura gritted her teeth and remembered who he was and more importantly… who she was; him practically one of konoha's greatest and her an insignificant baker who only made an impression due to her hair color.

"gah i need more sleep." she muttered as she made her way back into ino's apartment and headed to shower since her mind was too awake to go back to bed now.

. . . . . .

trekking through the woods wouldn't have been so bad if sasuke was alone or even just with naruto and kakashi. (or maybe if he had slept more and spent less time thinking about the small icing-heart on his cookie he got from the bakery when he knew naruto's had been plain. not that it mattered.)

since no serious needs had come up in quite a few weeks, tsunade had allowed for them to go with team asuma on an escort mission for a higher-up person from the neighboring village.

it would be a breeze, he thought. well as long as they managed to stop filling every moment of quiet with unnecessary conversations.

"oh come on, sakura didn't know you guys would be there."

"yeah well… do girls normally stay in their underwear when they have sleepovers? we should join next time." naruto nudged sasuke's arm at this in a very playful yet innocent way. sasuke realized this _we_ stuff must include him.

he looked off in the distance ahead of them though, ignoring any invitation to this conversation.

this was really not helpful to the mission.

"yeah you can join them when you aren't at the hyuuga's which is never anymore. but back to sakura, i overheard some of the other jonin talking about her the other day on the streets. ino have you been parading her around to other ninja? you know rock lee is interested in her." shikamaru added in.

"actually no, they just have eyes and can see her which explains why they want to talk about her. hate to break it to them and rock lee though, her thoughts seem to be occupied by some mysterious guy. i tried to get her to spill last night with no such luck."

sasuke had to fight the urge to wonder why his ears had instantly been drawn to the conversation, causing ino's last few statement to echo throughout his head.

"ah probably some guy who works at the bakery with her," shikamaru stated with a shrug as he pulled out a cigarette.

"yeah, bakery… sweets… food. when are we stopping for lunch?" choji sheepishly grinned up at the rest of them as his belly growled, causing naruto to whoop for joy and expectantly nod at the others.

"i swear you two have one-track minds," ino and shikamaru shared an amused look at one another and glanced over at sasuke.

he was still miles away in thought though, wondering who sakura could be harboring feelings for, then wondering why it even mattered. this really wasn't helpful to the mission.

"uh i am sorta hungry too." the others looked down the row at him in surprise, then started talking through possible places to stop at on the way.

he was thankful his focus was now somewhere else, well… should have been.


	2. part two

she had hoped this would be more of slow-burn kind of thing, although she had never tried it before and was just curious at how things might turn out…

her new recipe really needed that perfect crunch on the outside though and a warm, fluffy inside that wasn't dense.

she knew customers were expecting a new treat, especially naruto, and she wanted to blow them out of the waters with this new creation.

until the remaining fifteen minutes of the baking process passed to prove whether the risk was worth it, she decided on something that could help pass the time: cleaning. she always turned to this whenever she had something on her mind.

as she made her way around the storefront, she made sure every surface was spotless before they opened the bakery. with this extra time her mind had started contemplating "slow-burn" as a way she could describe her feelings for him too rather than just the recipes.

at this she propped her elbows up on the counter with her chin resting on her open palms. she was thinking of sasuke at work… (only for the fifth time this month.)

 _would it inevitably burn on as an ember, creating a fire in him as well, or scorch everything she thought she knew like a ravenous wildfire?_

sakura jumped a bit and suddenly came back to her senses at the sound of the other worker coughing rather loudly in the kitchen and quickly finished the last table before she made her way back to check things.

what she came to find was worse than she had thought as she pulled the half-flaming bits of soot black sweets from the oven, having apparently lost track of time.

"well, that didn't work. maybe another route then?" she shrugged as she started coughing at the smokiness in the air too and readjusted her apron, looking back at her fellow worker who didn't seem impressed.

she didn't mean to lose track of time though. yet she was still looking at the charred desserts and getting stuck in her headspace again, thinking of how this could somehow relate to her feelings for the uchiha.

would it all really go up in flames then? would she be left to clean up the mess of her own heart, as she laid it out on her sleeve so willingly?

was she managing to forget she had no business even possessing these feelings for him? she was a baker. he was the best of konoha shinobi, right alongside naruto. plus if she didn't stop letting it all make her so distraught, ino was bound to catch on.

that would no doubt be the worst-case scenario as her friend, loving as she was, loved to gossip more and didn't really know how to keep things from her teammates if they were to bring sakura and sasuke up in the same conversation.

with a displeased huff she made her way to the trash and dumped them all, planning to start anew once the current mess was dealt with, realizing she could deal with her personal life in the same way, if the need arose.

hopefully the girl she worked with wouldn't be there if that happened, as her prying gaze was proving to be somewhat annoying to sakura and she knew if there was a way, she would leave early today.

get out, get alone, and get away.

. . . . . .

something wasn't right.

he had come to the training grounds for practice early this morning with kakashi and naruto, which undoubtedly meant him and the blonde waited an extra thirty minutes for the other member to actually arrive. even before the ex-sensei had showed up, sasuke just wasn't as focused, he couldn't help but feel somewhat hazy.

now three hours into training, he had knelt over behind a tree to hide from the attacks the other two would soon bring his way. was it sleep deprivation causing this? it couldn't be, he thought, remembering all the occasions they had run into an enemy on a mission and fought without hesitation even when they lacked much, if any sleep at all.

but he had been up half the night, probably longer if he was being honest.

when they had got back from this mission in particular, two days ago, naruto had run to the bakery in response to a text from sakura about a new cupcake flavor she had just finished up, knowing they were due back to the village.

his mind currently kept wandering back to the bakery and her behind the counter, speaking to naruto with no problem, yet he could feel the tension when she had addressed him and wouldn't even look him in the eyes, not even when he was the only one standing at the counter buying one of the almond cupcakes with light cream frosting.

there were many times when they were younger that her eyes would never meet his, especially when he knew she had started to pick up on his choice to seek revenge, more noticeably than his teammates and friends.

sasuke could still never understand how she could see straight through him sometimes, especially when she wasn't even looking.

but why was he worried about whether she was looking at him or not? why was he looking at her anyways? he admitted to himself he wouldn't know when something was up if he wasn't always–WHAM!

sasuke was frighteningly slung back into reality as much as the tree behind him when kakashi's leg caught his chest and naruto came barreling out from behind some bushes, making a beeline for the uchiha but stopping short and tumbling to the ground.

the other two cast looks at one another, that proved they had talked about this beforehand, as naruto sheepishly rubbed at the back of his neck and made his way to sit close, clearing his throat awkwardly. "u-uh… sasuke, is there maybe something wrong or…? you haven't been yourself lately and you know you can talk to us."

instead of answering, he got up and started making his way past his two confused teammates, ready to be elsewhere and never ready to have this conversation.

as he made his way across the training grounds, he heard whispers being passed and then the sound of feet lightly padding away in the opposite direction. he exhaled slowly at this and smirked at his small win over them, of course he realized not a win in practice, by a long shot.

his performance was definitely poor as of late.

"i didn't visit the centrograph when we got back the other day."

he was drug back to the real world yet again when kakashi appeared directly beside him, walking in the same slow strides while trying to make conversation.

sasuke glanced over and back to the ground ahead of them, hoping the silver-haired man would understand he wanted for him to continue just so this could be over and he could be alone.

"i stayed outside the bakery instead and saw you two again."

sasuke's gaze moved down to his feet as he walked on, hearing yet another expectant silence and trying to decide whether kakashi had meant two as him and naruto or him and her. "okay?" he grumbled.

"well i couldn't help but notice the visible tension i could have cut through between you and the pink-haired girl. what's her name again?"

"sakura." thankfully his voice cooperated and didn't give way to anything else for the teacher to interrogate him on.

"yes, right… well you got another sweet from her, this one without a heart though," at this sasuke felt his own fist ball up, "ah, i don't mean anything by it. but maybe talk to her if something is wrong? i know you don't care much for chatting." with this kakashi dramatically coughed out a snicker yet continued anyway, "people who don't fully understand our lifestyle but still choose to stick around, they are hard to come by. she seems to be that way for ino and naruto, so…

"okay? she is that way with them, not me. so go bother them with this."

when he looked up he found the old teacher looking back at him dubiously but just as soon, found nothing to look at and he was at last without another person to bother him.

 _now to find somewhere to blow off some steam, without any chance of running into anyone else_ , he thought.

. . . . . .

she stretched back in the grass, letting a tiny moan escape her parted lips, as she neared an hour of being here; although notably, sakura had no idea where here really was.

she had wandered far out into the woods after her work shift, with her mind reeling the whole way, and felt annoyed, felt confused, and mostly just felt like getting somewhere to think these things through.

 _what things? are you going to keep on this like you actually should pursue your feelings for him?_

she grabbed a handful of grass at this and flung it violently into the air, glowering up at the sky until her eyelids shut and she took an even breath.

for the last few months, she had been carrying on like this, fighting against herself ever since she drew a heart on sasuke's cookie. the whole time steadying her hand to make it perfect while the other part of her was in the mood to throw it and her in the trash over this embarrassing gesture.

although this really went back much further to the first time she had noticed the young uchiha's face light up as his older brother itachi had carried him through the village piggy-back style, and she had been standing alone, catching glimpse of a pure soul not yet tainted by life's cruelness.

had her feelings for him been something she couldn't stop or avoid, something like… fate? she practically choked a laugh at the idea. but maybe, just maybe, this had been a long time coming.

as she lied there, she ran through all the pros and cons to coming clean about her feelings to him. then whenever those were about even, considering how much of a weight it would relieve on her end, she found herself wondering if he would even care in the first place and what that would mean for her if this made things awkward.

 _what if i couldn't hang out with all of them anymore? what if ino found out? hadn't she had a crush on him some years ago?_

sakura was stressed and tired and wanted to be free of these thoughts, even if it was only for as long as the sun would stay up.

as she closed her eyes and her breathing slowed, she eventually started to drift off into a peaceful sleep. except, she was interrupted moments later by the crunching of a twig off in the distance and immediately cracked open one emerald eye.

she didn't have to be a ninja to know that the noise was far too heavy to have been made by an animal, unless it was a rather large one.

after a few moments of dead quite passed, she decided not to pursue it and closed her eyes again, breathing normally for a second before it hitched in the back of her throat as her ears heard something close to her, very close. she could feel the way the atmosphere had changed, and found the nerve to open both eyes more slowly this time, afraid of what she might find.

when she did, she caught sight of something she hoped her mind would keep in it for all time, a sight she had only dreamed of…

the sun was just beginning to lower in the sky with light tufts of clouds being immersed in waves of colors that ranged from pastel purples and pinks to burnt oranges. the colors only intensifying as the moments ticked away.

sakura couldn't find her words or even find it in herself to move when her eyes landed on the boy next to her.

"sasuke-kun…" she whispered in an almost inaudible tone, not believing herself how beautifully the light crept up over him and shined into those dark pupils. then he turned her way and she felt as though they would pierce directly through her. as she looked back at him, she couldn't tell whether she was blushing or if her mouth was still wide-open, but she only registered that she was no longer upset. she had just wanted to be alone yet here he was and she didn't know what to do with this information other than embrace it.

"i wanted to be alone too." he muttered as his eyes wandered down her stretched out form and to the color-filled, ever-changing sky.

had he read her mind? did he want the same things or?

he didn't seem annoyed when he said this, yet alone meant… alone, without her.

she nodded, swallowing hard, and started to get up and go, reaching for her bag and pulling it over her shoulders as she took one last glance at him and turned to go the other way.

"sakura, thank you…" his words were almost hoarse as they clawed their way out of his throat and he didn't have to look up to know she had stopped, that this simple phrase had brought them both back to a night years ago but this time she had been the one trying to go and he had reached out.

what did this mean? had something changed?

"i know tomorrow is itachi's birthday, is that why you came to be alone?" at this he looked up and noticed her seated close to him, but not too close (she had always known his limits but never pushed them, something he had ignored for years but appreciate silently now).

actually though, he hadn't realized what tomorrow was until she mentioned it and it wasn't the idea of her remembering something like that that was bothering him, it was the realization that for once, he had been hurting for someone else he couldn't have. someone besides itachi had been filling his mind lately.

she looked up at him, wearing an expression that showed years of hurt, longing, and more obviously: understanding. they didn't really need long drawn out speeches or many words after all this time so they sat in the silence for hours until she noticed the sun had long since went down and neither had moved an inch.

 _why wasn't he leaving? why hadn't he asked her to go? does he want me here with him…? does he want me at all?_

her heart was aching in her chest and beating furiously, begging her to let it out, to see if he would let her in.

she knew she had told him before, that same night he left the village, but so much time had passed and she couldn't help feeling like maybe… maybe he needed to hear it from her.

she looked down at the grass next to his hand and shakily moved her own, wiling the risk to be taken, no matter the outcome, no matter who got burned. she had to try because after all this time, she knew he was the only one worth all of this, worth anything. even if they were on separate paths, she had to try.

"i…" she caught his gaze locked onto hers and found the strength to place her hand onto his, desperately grasping it, needing something to hang onto to get this out. "i still… i will always…" her eyes noticed softness in his black orbs, willing her on. "i love you."

yet something had changed after a second of her saying it.

he had looked away from her and his body had tensed up, pulling his hand away and retreating it into his trembling left one.

the memory of itachi and that last time with him had just come back and punched him in the gut. he could see it plainly and felt the raw pain inside him, all over again.

he couldn't do this. he wouldn't.

as quiet tears streamed down his cheeks, she sat there wondering what she could do. was he angry with her? was he so happy he had been moved to tears? before her mind could make up other ideas, she found herself being pulled up as sasuke was close to her face, eyes flaring with bitter anger and his grip tightening on her shoulders.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?! HUH SAKURA?!"

her eyes darted back and forth between his, bewildered and so so hurt.

the words were always there, the feeling would never let her go. she loved him, loved him with all she had. she could muster up the syllables to try and help him understand, let them play around on the tip of her tongue, or she could finally let them go, let them fall, and watch the outcome. she could take the chance…

but to try anything else might be too much and she felt so tired. his very presence, angry or not, drained her because she had always feared it would have to end this way.

she was looking back into a face she no longer recognized and recalled a time that naruto had spoke of a similar look on sasuke's face when he had ran into the boy years ago after he had left the village to pursue his path of revenge.

had he changed at all? or had he just completely shut down for good? had she been fighting a losing battle all these years?

she accepted this likely fact with tears pouring down her own cheeks, at what seemed an increasing rate, and felt her lip quiver as she thought of what, if anything, she could say.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"

as he shoved her away, increasing the distance between them, he saw how she flinched like she was scared and wouldn't look him in the eyes anymore.

he felt a sharp pang in his chest, as he understood he was hurting her because of his own hurt, yet again.

she grabbed for her bag then and without stopping, she took off running. she was running away from him, away from the boy in the past, and to a future that she knew was different because things had changed.

he was different… he wouldn't ever be hers and it was time she faced that.


End file.
